Published: February 2, 2022 by Careys Joy Sandoval
Last updated on March 21, 2022
Reproductive health is crucial in healthy human development and is an imperative component of adequate overall health. Reproductive life does not begin with sexual development during puberty and end at menopause for a woman or when a man is no longer likely to have children. Rather, it follows throughout an individual’s life cycle and remains significant in the different phases of development and maturation.
At each stage of life, individual reproductive health needs may differ, and numerous factors directly affect how well an individual maintains his or her reproductive health status. While some factors may be pre-determined, such as genetic susceptibility to a particular disorder or disease, others are related to the maintenance of reproductive health based on the individual’s behavior and participation in risky practices. Thus, it is important that we are equipped with the knowledge and skills necessary to aid us in well-informed decision-making.
Making Healthy Decisions About Sex
Young people’s ability to control, decide, and plan about their bodies has been associated with the capability to complete their education, achieve their career goals, increase their chances of breaking out of the cycle of poverty, improve mental health outcomes, and have higher levels of satisfaction in their relationships.
Research suggests that teenagers who engage in healthy conversations on sexual and reproductive health with their parents help reduce the chances of engaging in risky sexual behaviors that lead to unintended pregnancies as high levels of communication mean more instances of discussion about pregnancy, sexually transmitted infection prevention, and the use of contraception.
But before we learn to make healthy sexual decisions, it is important to understand the different relationships we have and apply the following:
practices health-promoting behaviors, such as abstinence from alcohol and other drugs, and getting regular check-ups
understands changes that happen during puberty, and views them as normal
Takes responsibility for their own behaviors:
identifies own values and acts on those values
understands the consequences of their actions
understands that media messages can create unrealistic expectations related to sexuality and intimate relationships
is able to tell the difference between personal desires from that of their peer group
understands how alcohol and drugs can affect making decisions
Knows about sexual health issues:
understands the consequences of sexual behaviors
makes decisions about masturbation that fits with personal values
makes decisions about sexual behaviors with a partner that fits with personal values
understands their own gender identity and sexual orientation
understands the effect of gender role stereotypes and makes choices about the best roles for themselves
understands peer and cultural pressure to become sexually involved
accepts people with different values and experiences
Communicates effectively with family members about issues, including sexuality:
has a good balance between family roles and responsibilities and their growing need for independence
is able to negotiate with family on boundaries and tries to understand parents point of view
respects rights of others and treats adults with respect
understands and asks for information about parents’ and family’s values and thinks about them when developing their own values
asks parents and other trusted adults questions about sexual health issues and accepts their guidance
Interacts with all people (including those with different sexual orientation and gender identity different from their own) in proper and respectful ways:
communicates well with friends
shows empathy in relationships
recognizes and stays away from relationships that may not be healthy for themselves or others
respects rights of others and treats adults with respecto respects others’ right to privacy and doesn’t share personal information that others have shared with them
understands what sexual harassment behavior is and rejects it
Acts on one’s own values and beliefs when they aren’t the same as their peers:
understands pressures to be popular and accepted and makes decisions based on their own values
Shows love and intimacy in a way that’s appropriate for their age:
believes that everyone has equal rights and responsibilities for love and sexual relationships
can say ‘no’ and accepts when a partner says ‘no’
tries to understand (empathize) how a partner feels
Has the skills to decide how ready they are for mature sexual relationships:
talks with a partner about sexual behaviors before they happen
is able to communicate and negotiate sexual behaviors
if they choose to have sex, protects self and partner from unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) by using birth control, condoms, and other safer sex practices
Adopted from https://teachingsexualhealth.ca/parents/information-by-topic/sexual-decision-making/
Understanding Consent
Consent is an informed, freely-given, and a clear “YES” between people to do something together. It is important to have consent for any sexual activity with another person, either verbal or nonverbal (e.g., communicated through body language). However, when in doubt, it is best to ask as silence does not equal consent, just like flirting, being in a relationship, being married, or having had sex before with the person don’t. Consent matters because not asking before you touch, kiss, or do anything sexual with someone will turn your actions considerable for rape or sexual assault. It isn’t hard or awkward. In fact, it makes things less confusing because when there’s clear consent, you know for sure that the person you’re with is down to do the same thing as you are. One should also take note of situations where a person cannot legally give consent. For example, there is no legal consent in these situations:
If a person is too young to give consent.
If he/she is asleep, unconscious, or significantly impaired by drugs or alcohol.
If a person has abused their position of authority or power to convince you to say yes, and you’re afraid something bad might happen if you say no.
If someone threatens or uses force on you or another person.
If someone misleads you on purpose about the sexual activity or the harm that may result. For example, if a doctor gets your consent for a medical procedure but actually does something sexual to you or if someone lies to you that they are using protection to prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Also keep in mind that consent is reversible. You have the right to change your mind and stop anytime for any reason during sexual activity. Do not be afraid to say no.
To understand more, watch the video shown:
Are You Ready for Sex?
Your first sexual experience should be positive and safe, but how can you know if you’re ready for sex? As a guide, here’s a checklist from the World Health Organization of life skills that you need to keep yourself safe.
Can you make good decisions about relationships and sex and stand up for those decisions?
Can you deal with the pressures for unwanted sex?
Can you recognize a situation that might turn risky or violent?
Do you know how and where to ask for help and support?
Do you know what safe sex is and could you insist on condoms?
If you don’t feel certain about these things, you might not be ready to have sex. Also, here are some signs that your relationship with your partner is not ready:
Your partner pressures you to have sex and refuses to see your point of view.
Your partner manipulates you by either bullying you or threatening to hurt himself if you end the relationship.
Your partner is jealous or possessive. For example, your partner prevents you from spending time with your family or other friends, texts or instant messages you constantly, or checks your cell phone to see who you are talking with.
To avoid the risks, delaying sex and waiting until you feel confident and comfortable will help you to make sure your first sexual experiences are safe and positive.
Here are reasons why waiting to have sex is a must:
Sex can lead to pregnancy. Are you ready to be pregnant or become a teenage parent? It's a huge responsibility. Are you able to provide food, clothing, and a safe home for your baby?
Sex has health risks. A lot of infections can be spread during sex. Sexually transmitted infections include chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, herpes, HIV (the virus that causes AIDS), human papillomavirus (HPV), or syphilis.
Sex can lead to emotional pain and distractions. You may feel sad or angry if you let someone pressure you into having sex when you're not really ready. You also may feel sad or angry if you choose to have sex but your partner leaves you. Your partner may even tell other people that you had sex with her.
Remember: If you decide to have sex, it's important that you know the facts about birth control, infections, and emotions. Decisions of when to become sexually active, how to protect yourself from STIs, and how to prevent pregnancy are yours. These are important decisions and are worth talking about with adults who care about you, including your doctor.